I would include your story and how it helped you or guided you. Also, connect with someone else’s narrative that you had a problem with so that the story can connect with you. I would also include how Beck and Strawson are two totally different people and how they have different opinions and how those opinions affect you. You are off to a great start I would fix a couple of sentences and add in a story or two and how they connect to your life or a situation that has happened to you that connected with someone else’s story and the lesson behind it. We are a stubborn generation the way we listen to things we sometimes have to experience it to get the message and then we are like oh damn. I liked how you introduced the two authors also I would add in a strong thesis, something you feel strongly about. Good job off to a great start.
I just love your 150-word note. Not only do you engage with your peer’s ideas, you offer them solid advice. You leave your peer consistent marginal comments that are specific and solid. Keep up the great work, Malena!